TIME FOR A CHANGE

Wow, here we are in a new year.  I hope that everyone had a happy new year.  I spent mine watching movies until after 12:00 AM and then went to bed.  I didn’t even drink any alcohol.  I take that back, I did have a glass of Goldschläger on the rocks.  I know this is primarily a knitting blog, but I’m starting on a journey and I’m going to use this blog as part of that journey.  I know that I can set up a separate blog for this, but I prefer not to.  So, while I’m on this journey, this will be a two-themed blog.  That being said, here we go. 

 

For the past few years, especially the past couple or so, I have noticed my weight sky rocket and my health starting to decline (high blood pressure and higher cholesterol) to some degree.  I’m at the heaviest weight that I’ve ever been in all my life.  I’m on medication for the above mentioned things and grant it, some of this stems from family genetics, but a lot of it also comes from being overweight/obese.  I know that as you get older, this just happens (but not to this degree) due to being less active.  I used to love going for walks and hiking, but for some reason all of it stopped.  Because of this, I have become a very unhappy and somewhat bitter person.  I look physically bad and that affects how you look.  I feel so unattractive and my self-worth is at rock bottom.

 

This is not me having a pity party, but writing things down so that I can physically see the words.  I remember when I was working a temp job a couple of years ago, I applied for several positions, but would never be hired full-time for the company I was temping at.  I kept thinking to myself when I would not get hired on, you’re already short in height, but now your overweight and an older man.  Who would want to hire you?  Needless to say, this did very little for my confidence.  All this being said, I have made a decision to try and turn this around.  I’m 47 and I want to feel desirable again, to find a man that I’m attracted to and know that he’s attracted to me and wants to be with me.  I guess I’m ready for another relationship.  Foremost, I want to feel GOOD about me again.  To feel GOOD about being out and around other people again.  I want to feel EXCITED again about fixing myself up and shopping for new clothes.  This is something that I’ve not felt like doing in a LONG time.  IT’S TIME!

 

If you’re family or friends, please be advised that I’m going to post a couple of pictures throughout this journey to show my progress.  I will not have a shirt on so that I can be honest in how I look.  Yes, this embarrasses me, but it has to be done.  So, skip ahead if you don’t want to ruin your eyesight.

 

 

 

 

 

0102081

 

 0102082 

 

WEIGHT:  165.6

 

BODY FAT:  26.7

 

On the knitting front, I’ve finished the sections for my cardigan.  I now need to seam it up, do the edging and put on the buttons.  Hopefully I’ll have a finished product to show you next time.

 

Until then…be well.

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About colamanknits

Just your average, gay-male knitter.
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2 Responses to TIME FOR A CHANGE

  1. Dave says:

    Sounds like you’re serious about achieving your goals — I wish you success!!

  2. Beverly says:

    I can sympathize and empathize. In the past 5 months I’ve gained 31 pounds and now weigh 220. That’s more than two of my brothers and my sister. I’m back on my diabetic diet and will again add walking to my regimen.

    Good luck as you embark on this new journey. See you soon.

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